A Message to Men With Combovers
This is probably entirely unoriginal, but having just suffered through a long-ish subway journey with two men sporting two very elaborate combovers right in front of me I just have to make a few points. If you happen to be a man who is going somewhat bald and are thinking of trying to hide it, read carefully:
- A combover does not hide your baldness. Everyone can see that it is a combover, and everyone knows what it’s for. Ergo, a combover does in fact enhance your baldness.
- Combovers are not pretty. The hair is always pointing the wrong direction. Even if it’s not oily or waxy, it still looks unnatural. Combovers are ugly.
- Sporting a combover tells other people that you are aware of your baldness, and that it bothers you. It makes you look ashamed of yourself, like you’re trying to hide who you are, and that in turn makes you look pathetic, because it’s so obvious.
- Whereas bald men are a everywhere and no one cares if you’re thinning out on top and hence usually won’t even notice, a combover is about as subtle as those huge yellow exclamation marks hovering over quest-givers in World of Warcraft. It’s fair enough to want attention. But really, wouldn’t you prefer people to be staring at your amazing choice of clothes or stylish new glasses than an atrocious hairdo that doesn’t fool anyone?
Conclusion: If you’re bald or balding, pretend it doesn’t bother you, and it won’t bother anyone else.